Forgiving

I’m sure at some point I’ll need to sort my posts because I can already tell they will cover a variety of topics, mostly in response to something I’ve seen or read.

This one is about forgiveness. I saw on my Facebook feed something that said “you can’t forgive someone who isn’t sorry”. I think people have this forgiveness thing backwards. It isn’t a reward for remorse. The purpose of forgiveness is to close a door for yourself so you don’t keep letting in something hurtful.

As someone who has had to forgive a lot of people for a lot of things, I can honestly say the following:

  • There is no right path to forgiveness.
  • The deeper the hurt, the longer it takes to forgive.
  • The goal is to get to a point where the thought of the other person or their actions no longer affects your current mood or emotional state.
  • It could very likely require therapy.
  • It will require changing yourself.

As humans we have this desire for revenge. It takes a lot to train yourself to let go of things and move past them without feeling spiteful. But if you truly want to heal yourself, you have to recognize these faults and set a goal for yourself to change them.

It may sound corny or cliche but anger serves us no purpose. It won’t help pay your bills, it won’t help you get a promotion at work, or help your kid learn the alphabet. It soaks up our thoughts and time and gives us nothing in return.

I can tell you that on the other side of anger is a world of possibilities and most importantly, healing.

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