This post actually took me a really long time to write because this is so close to my heart.
My son was placed on the spectrum over the summer and while I was not at all surprised, I was very annoyed that it took this long for the diagnosis to happen. Several times, teachers recommended visiting the doctor about my son’s classroom behaviors and each time, I was told they do not test based on the recommendation of teachers.
Fast forward to 5th grade… I had to take my son for booster shots in April for middle school and the doctor we saw pulled me aside and asked if he’d ever been tested. I was so angry and she could see it. She responded by apologizing over and over. My only thought was “all this time he could’ve been receiving the help he needs instead of struggling”.
I’m writing this post now to encourage all parents out there – if you have any suspicion about your child, push the doctor until they agree to help. Even if the evaluations determine your child is not on the spectrum, it is better to know than to feel how I felt – that all this time your child could’ve been receiving help and accommodations at school but wasn’t.
Its easy to say “find a new doctor” but as any parent of an autistic child can tell you, it is anything but easy to change anything in their “normal”. Whether its food, or the person who cuts their hair, or the doctor they see – routines are very difficult to change.
This actually happened earlier today – something about my son’s normal changed and it took over an hour to get his mood to stabilize. He was angry, crying, confused and we spent almost 30 minutes sitting in the car at Target talking through all the things swimming around his mind. The only way I’ve found to work through these times is to list a solution or two for each item bothering him. Usually, it’s a landslide – one trigger opens up a storeroom of problems he’s been holding onto.
I’m very new at this and feel very alone – as I’m sure most parents do. However, I’ve realized that what needs to change is my approach to parenting. I have to keep reminding myself that he processes things differently than everyone else and how we work through the problems he’s having has to be different as well. I’m always on the lookout for tips on how to do this because some days, I will try anything.
For other parents out there going through this – I wish you the best. It is a daily struggle for me sometimes, but I know with God’s help, I can be an amazing mom.