WOW what happens in a year.

I read something online recently that said “For a star to be born, there is one thing that must first happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.” I relate so much to this. I feel like what I went through really was a full out collapse. It was so painful yet oddly cathartic. I came to terms with so many things that I had been avoiding or hiding from. I forgave myself for the stupid decisions I’ve made and finally found my inner peace. I still cry sometimes, but not like I used to. An overwhelming calm has settled on me and I embrace the path I am on. I lost people I thought were friends but gained so many new ones. I am not the person I will be, but I’m also not the person I used to be.

Updates….
Not long after my last post on the old blog, I was hired at a local grocery store. Can I tell you about the job shaming that went with that?? “But you have a masters degree!” Yeah… and it obviously didn’t do a damn thing for me. Why do people find it necessary to shame others for the job they do? This was another reason I lost “friends” along this journey.

Last September, I was hired as a temp employee doing admin work; the company was awesome and so were the people. I felt like I belonged there and it was wonderful to be able to pay my own rent again.

Apparently, they liked me too because in March I was hired permanent doing a completely different job I have NEVER done in my life. Still not really using my degree but I am (sort of) part of supply chain management now which was discussed a lot in my classes. So there’s that.

Another bit of good news… back in February I started dating someone I met working at the grocery store! Everything truly does happen for a reason. It’s so cliche but true. I was hired there to meet someone special and great people I am happy to call friends. I was hired temp at my office job so I could be brought on permanent to kick ass at a job I’m a complete newbie at. And so far so good.

I now find myself looking at the mountain of debt left behind from my not-so-brilliant-but-necessary career choice when I quit my last job without having a new one in place. I am not making nearly as much money as I was but what I am making is workable. I am finally ready to tackle this mountain and defeat it.

Action planning… begin!