Aha!

I was browsing through internet memes as I often do when I need a laugh and stumbled across an excerpt from a book. It listed all the things we as women need to stop so we can take control of our lives… basically excuses and procrastination.

I realized that’s all I had in my arsenal: excuses and procrastination. So I started I thinking about all the things I’ve thought of doing but haven’t done anything about. And there were a lot! This led to more questions, really hard questions, about my life and what I’m doing with it.

Am I happy? Not really.
Do I like what I’ve become? Again, not really.
What am I putting off for no real reason? A lot!
What behaviors am I accepting from others that I shouldn’t? Too many to list.

Yes, definitely an aha moment here. It was hard to examine myself in this way but it was necessary. It was time to make some changes.

I realized I hadn’t been taking very good care of my health.
>Step 1: Stop the excuses and get my ass to the gym!

I realized social media was making too much noise in my life.
>Step 2: Kill Facebook for a while. Anyone who really needs to get in touch with me knows how to find me in other ways.

I realized I have no real friends (only acquaintances) or hobbies to fill free time.
>Step 3: Get a friend, a hobby, a something! To be honest, a hobby would be easier only because I’m an introvert and prefer to be on my own. So, I decided to look into the things offered by the community center. Gotta start somewhere. I may meet people or I may not but either way it would get me out of my house and comfort zone.

What about my job? This had been playing around the edges of my mind already, mostly because of expected org changes I was not excited about. I decided my job was ok for now but probably wouldn’t be a permanent thing.

As explained in a previous post, I’ve already taken steps to get my finances under control. I figure this is just one more piece of the puzzle that will eventually lead me to where I want to be instead of sitting around thinking about it.

I realized that I was letting people treat me in ways I shouldn’t. I deserve better.
>Step 4: No more apologizing or trying to keep peace or make other people feel better. Get with the program and treat me right or get lost. Sure, it’ll hurt to lose people, but it’s happened before and I’ve survived. I’ll survive again.

Cheesy but true: I will survive.

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